” Why” is the first question to ask when things aren’t going like you planned them.
When you are procrastinating, when you feel de-motivated.
If is what you ask when you need to make a serious decision.
It is also the question you ask when you want to filter your life.
” Why” is the most important question I have learnt to ask because , it forces us to solve problems from the root and not the surface. It also forces us to make decisions directed by purpose and never immediate gratification
2. “What’s the worst that could happen?”.
Every time I would tell my Dad I was afraid to do something, he would ask me this question.
The worst that could happen for me at this point in my life would be that I move back home, go broke and have to share a room with my sister.
When you compare this with bad situations like dying early or being in a car crash and loosing a limb or loosing my sibling or Dad or loosing my sight, you see my so called ” worst thing that could happen”, isn’t actually the worst thing.
State your worst thing , place it side by side with the worst things in the world and you will often see how small they are
3. ” Do I Like The Alternative?”.
For every decision we make, every choice, there is always an alternative choice and both the choice chosen and the choice forgone have different outcomes.
Every time we start to whine about how hard it is to build our dream lives,we need to become clear on what the alternative is for our decision and decide if we are okay with it.
When I decided to walk away from my barely 2 months old job, this was one of the things that made that decision easy for me.
I weighed the possible outcomes and the outcome for quitting including the possibility of moving back home and they seemed better for me.
Next time you are whining about how hard things are, ask yourself ” What’s the alternative?’. If you are okay with it, go for it.
4. Does this add any value for me?”
The only things that add real value for us are the things that bring us closer to our goals.
For example, my life goal is to live everyday like it is my last, enjoying every second and doing exactly what I want to be doing for my life.
Before I do anything, I have to weigh the ROI of that thing with regards to my goals and dream life.
Going to a burna boy concert and paying 25k doesn’t add any value for me but takes away from my goals.
For someone who wants to become a musician like him, it may add value for them.
Time is the one thing we can never get back and so, for everything we spend it on, we need to make sure we are gaining immense value in regards with our goals and dream life.
5. “Will this matter 5 years from now?”
This question makes the annoying cashier at the bank or your siblings mood swings seem smaller.
This question is great to ask because, it helps keep the important things in perspective.
It also makes you less of someone that reacts and more of someone who responds.
For example, for me, it will not matter in 5 years if my friend doesn’t wish me a happy new year.
it will matter to me in 5 years if I go into a relationship simply because I miss being with someone.
See how that puts things in perspective.
6. Am I ready to have the things I am dreaming of ?”
Too often we become so heart broken because we aren’t living the lives we dream of yet.
We delve into comparisons and self pity.
This changes when I ask myself ” If I am given the things I want for my life today , will I know what to do with them ?” And of course , the answer is ‘NO’.
If I am given 100,000,000 naira today , what will I do with it?
Most likely nothing because that will be so overwhelming and I most likely will squander the money or lock it up in the bank.
Either ways , I will not be useful to the money or it to me.
Will you rather stay at the top or get there and fall flat on your face ?
7. Pain of discomfort or Pain of regret?
This question helps us choose over and over again to do the things we need to do to have the live we dream of.
There will be times where we procrastinate or when we are too lazy to work on our dream lives,
This question gives us a boost or helps us come out of the rut.
8. ” What does happiness look like for me?”
The world around us will always have a definition for what happiness is.
For most people , marriage and kids would be exactly that.
I would love to have those but happiness for me would be waking up everyday and living my life doing the things I love , my own way.
I believe this is why I am so drawn to entrepreneurship ; it gives me the room to live the life I want and build it my own way.
Having kids now won’t be making me happy
Getting married now will leave me miserable.
Getting a 9-5 job as a sales girl or a business development person at McKinsey will not make me happy.
What will make me happy is helping other people live their best life and cracking this tough business of entrepreneurship 🙂.
What will make me happy is waking up everyday to live life the way I want to live it
9.” If today were my last day on earth , would I be happy with how I have lived it?”.
I have lived so many days only to answer this with a resounding NO.
If we ask ourselves this question everyday, It becomes clear if we are living the life we dream of or not.
It also becomes clear when we are being sloppy with our goals and when we need to put in more work.
10. “How do they make me feel?”
I learnt this when a wise person said ” too many women go on dates worrying if the guy will like them , if they look great instead of focusing on how the person makes them feel”.
I like to transfer this to too many people.
Every time we meet someone be it romantically or just a new friend , it is important that we pay attention to how they make us feel.
Do they make us feel empowered, seen , like we can do anything or vice versa.
We are highly impacted by the kind of people we let around us.
Energy is so important.
12 what high value skill do I need to invest in ?
The first step towards financial freedom is gaining a high value skill.
Something you can monetize, something that is in demand and is a service.
If you don’t have a high value skill yet , please invest in getting one
Baking is a high value skill, cleaning homes isn’t.
Sales is a high value skill, Car washing isn’t.
I have come to learn that there is money in Nigeria but, people are only willing to pay for what they really need.
13. “How do I make money doing what I love?”
Any skill can be monetized.
I was talking to my brother recently and he was going on and on about how he
He is good at it but doesn’t know how to make money from it.
Well, If Maya Angelou can , so can you was my thinking.
The real question is ” are you good enough to be paid”.
It has taken me four years to become really good at website development.
I don’t code but, I can build someone an online store with 150k and above.
The point is , becoming financially free and making money doesn’t need to be painful and boring.
I want to live everyday of my life with self fulfillment which means
- I need money
- I need to do what I really want to do and love.
This question forces you to find a way to do both
14. “What would I do if I knew how many ” NOs” will lead to my first ” YES?”.
This question was inspired by David Meltzer.
The reason why many of us give up so quickly is that we are scared of rejection.
But , what will happen if I told you there were only 20 rejections before someone will give you a contract or sign you , what would you do ?
The truth is , this is also how it is in life.
All you need is the YES and you will need to face a lot of ” NOs” to reach that YES.
15. “When I am 80 and dying , what do I want my life to be like?”
All I want is to have a feeling of fulfillment at that time.
I want to have only a feeling that ” I have lived my dream life, no regrets”.
This helps with focusing on the life we want versus the things we see now.
16. “What does success mean to me ?”
This question used to be splattered everywhere and I would just never get it.
I finally did.
Too many of us want to be successful but don’t really understand what success means to us
This is why people will have money ,cars , fame and still not be happy.
Success for me is
1. Being able to live everyday of my life doing what I love and making money doing it
2. Being able to live every day of my life on my own terms
3. Having no regrets
4. Being able to do things without worrying about money
If I can do these things for myself , I know I have gained the success I want for myself.