Signs We Are Chasing The Wrong Goals In Our Life, Career And Business11 min read

Reading Time: 9 minutes

Most of what I write on this site, I write based on my own experience and my skills

This is one of them and doesn’t apply in all situations

If you see yourself through this writing, that will be great and I hope you gain the clarity you need through it

If not, that is fine too, I am sure you will find a place where you see yourself as well

This article came from my own experience struggling to perform at peak rate like I used to

I know we have these struggles constantly through our business and life but, this time, I actually dug deep to find what is causing the problem

To my surprise, I found that my goals had shifted and I didn’t even realize it

The goals I was focusing on for my business and life were draining me

I had to re-focus on what matters and on the right goals for me to find my way out of that rabbit hole

Understand that , these things I call “wrong goals” are things on my vision board 🙂

These are things I want in my life

I have called them forward and they are manifesting in my life 🙂

Yes, this sounds like woo woo talk but , personal development often sounds this way

While these things are on my vision board and things I want in my life , they are exactly that

Things I want in my life

They should never be goals because when they become goals, they drain us

They make us loose sight of what matters

They frustrate us

For example, I want to have a successful business with over 700 employees and to one day sell for a billion dollars while still creating new businesses

I want to be wealthy, happy , be on Forbes 30 under 30 , married with 3 beautiful children and a cat

Yes, I am a cat person 🙂

While all of these are great , they should only be on our vision boards and never on our goals list

Without knowing, I put them on my goals list

Imagine trying to build a business as a soloprenuer and having “ sell a business for a billion dollars out of Africa” as a goal 😀

That is the kind of goal that drains people and this is exactly what I did

I completely lost my joy

Now, I want you to understand that even after reading this article and getting things straightened out , you will still forget again and veer off

I have veered off more times than I can count but always somehow , the universe guides me back

If you start experiencing any of this for long periods of time, know that you may be suffering from “wrong goals disorder” 🙂

Acting out of character

In the movie Sillicon Valley

In season 5, Richard’s COO leaves him for the simple reason that Richard Who is the founder of a tech company that is struggling to survive, has changed

He is no longer the man Jared knew

Richard would go on to do some very bad things that weren’t in his character

Eventually , he would find his way back but after some real damage

If we ever find ourselves acting out of character to achieve something, we should check again if we have set the wrong goals for ourselves

Example of Richard’s wrong goal “ Beat Gavin Belson, his competition”

If Richard’s goal was “ create an excellent product for my target audience” , he wouldn’t have done most of what he did

Burnout constantly

Burnout does happen in-between intervals for all of us

Maybe not Garyvee but the rest of us 🙂

When it is happening regularly though, something is off

I experience a lot of burnout when I manage to look at my vision board too many times in a row

All of a suddden, I wake up imagining speaking at TED 🙂

I imagine Forbes cover and as I stay in dream state, I end up doing nothing I need to do

I start looking down on my actions and with all that energy going into imagination versus action, I start to burnout

Don’t get me wrong, the law of attraction is real but, when our goals are in the right place , somehow, we find that balance

This morning while struggling to work, I reminded myself “ The goal is to show up for just that one person who will gain some value from this”

This thought made it easy for me to engage on instagram till 7:30am

And then, get right back to writing my morning blog post

If we have the right goals , we can imagine and take action because our goals inspire action in us

Comparing ourselves to others

When we start spending too much time on the vision board , we tend to look at those winning and worry for when we will get there

Then, we compare their work with our own

Their age with our own

We start looking down on all we are doing because if it was right, we should have gone global by now too 😀

When our goals are right, this pressure tends to disappear

When the goal for me is “ focus on helping other people starting out or aspiring to launch a business have less pain when starting” , I am content with the action I am taking

I look for ways to grow without feeling like I am dumb

But, when it is “ land on Forbes 30 under 30”, 🙄 I start feeling insufficient and trying to get my work to the point it isn’t at yet

Feeling overwhelmed Constantly

Have you ever looked at what other people are doing and decided to write down a list of things you need to do

I am a soloprenuer so my list goes from normal to

  • Engage in Facebook groups
  • fill up tailwind
  • fill up tweetdeck
  • launch telegram
  • re-design website
  • design Online Store
  • take better pictures
  • market course more

It just goes crazy 😀

Now, I am all for doing better in my business but, with a list like that, it is easy to start feeling really overwhelmed

And, because we are looking for all the places we aren’t doing well in, the list keeps growing

When we have the right goals, we can balance having things to do with feeling good about where we are heading

We do not need to feel like shit everyday because we haven’t done the things on our list

We wake up knowing we will give our very best shot today , take it one at a time and know we are doing the best we can

Depending on vanity things for our happiness

I always tell content creators, do not depend on comments and likes for your happiness

This is solid advise and one that I apply in my life

But, every now and then, I too veer off

I forget and set wrong goals

Set wrong expectations 🙂

Vanity things in our career or business are things like “going viral” ,” making 10k sales with this new product “ , “ getting a promotion “

Now, these things are important

This doesn’t mean they should be goals

Do we want to go viral ? Do we want to make $10k in sales monthly ?

Who no like good thing 🤷🏾‍♀️

But, these things shouldn’t determine our happiness and when this is the goal, they control our happiness

Our happines should be regardless of these things and the only way to manage this is to make our growth goal LEARNING

Learning how to go viral , Learning how to make $10k in a month 🙂

When the goal is learning, happiness becomes existent whether we get those results or not

We focus on the learning and guess what, we are driven to take action because, without action, learning doesn’t happen

See how the right goal always pushes us to be better

You don’t feel challenged by your goals

If your goals don’t scare the shit out of you, you have set the wrong goals

When I started my business, what scared me was posting content

Then came monetizing my audience and content

Now, re-branding and providing a high value brand image is a goal that is forcing me to level up

Now, creating an income level that is stable and 5 figures monthly is a goal that scares me

Posting content regularly as a goal doesn’t challenge me

That I know how to do

Posting content regularly that is of high value and with high value brand display, that is what challenges me 🙂

Right now, it is like this high mountain I am clinbing

Does your goal scare you?

If so, you have the right goal

Goals that scare us push us to grow and help us become the people we want to become

Goals that don’t leave us in our comfort zone where everything is warm and fuzzy but no growth is happening

Your goal isn’t connected to your vision and mission

What is your vision for your life ?

When you die , what do you want people to say about you ?

What is the vision for your business?

When you die, what do you want your clients and employees to say about your business?

I want people to say they built their dream lives and businesses because of my company

I want people to say they didn’t know how they would have gotten through without my company

I want my emplyyees to say the company felt like home 🙂

They grew immensely and they had the best mentor in me

The vision of my business is to help starting and aspiring entrepreneurs who don’t have a lot of money in the bank gain the guidance they need to launch and grow

When goals aren’t aligning with this, when they become self serving , when actions are taken to brush my ego

Then, they aren’t the right goals

Your goals are set to impress people or meet expectations

I recently had to cut myself off from two people I deeply respect

This i did because I found myself needing to impress them

Needing to gain their validation

I didn’t want to live my life trying to impress

I know this is a personal thing and I am dealing with self validation but, I started with doing the thing that scared me the most

Pulling away regardless of what they will think of me

This has given me the room to focus on what I want versus what they want

When we do things to impress people or meet their expectations , we loose our sense of self

We loose our happiness

We loose our sense of direction

Your goals have no real meaning for you

Have you ever set a goal simply because you thought, this is what it should be 😀

It’s like new year resolutions

People set a list of things to start and stop simply because they feel they are supposed to stop and start those things

By the end of January , most are back to their old habits and have tossed their goals out the door

Why?

Because at the core of it, they have no WHY

They have no driving force behind their goals

Why is your goal important to you?

Why do you want to achieve it?

What difference will it make for you and is it something you genuinely care about?

Or, is it there because your mentor told you it should be ?

Or your friends or your parents

Your goals are founded on the negative versus the positive

Doing things because we don’t want certain things isn’t enough

It is distracting

Often you hear people saying things like

“I don’t want us to loose money which is why’ve …”

“I don’t want to be a failure in life so…”

When we do this, we are setting goals from a place of fear

I have learnt that when we do so, we end up manifesting that thing we are focusing on

Instead, set goals following what you want

“I want to have an excellent brand image so…”

“I want to make 5 figures monthly so…”

This even makes us excited to get up and get to work

Your goals are too general

This is one of the most common reasons cited by a lot of people

It is facts

Don’t set a goal like “ Increase sales for my business “

This is an extremely general goal

Instead , write

“ Hit 100,000 naira in sales this month”

This gets us thinking about how than thinking in general form

You then start thinking how many people do you have to sell to for this goal to happen

How many products would you need to sell

How can you reach the people who can pay

It’s a domino effect when we have the right goals set

Did gain some value from this post? If so, please do share it with a friend


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